Alpha's Compromise (Alpha Selection Book 2) Read online

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was hurting you so much. It’s just a lot to handle right now.”

  She pulled back far enough to look up and meet my gaze as she swatted my arm.

  “Eavesdropping is rude, Hernandez.”

  A wry laugh escaped me. “Babe, you’re one of us now. You really should have realized I could hear you without trying.”

  “I forget sometimes! I’m still new to this,” She groaned.

  I placed a kiss on her forehead, feeling a little lighter from our banter. “I really am sorry. Once all of the funerals are over, we’ll start to figure out our lives. The packs, our baby, our living situation--all of it. I promise.”

  She shook her head softly. “You don’t have to apologize. You’re dealing with a lot and have had zero time to spare. I get it.”

  “I always have time for you,” I replied.

  She leaned up for a quick kiss before smiling. “So... you heard everything, huh?”

  “Yup.”

  “Including my mom asking me who my baby daddy is?”

  I laughed, truly laughed, for the first time in days. “Yeah. Your mom totally thought you were sleeping around in Chicago.”

  She slapped my arm again, harder this time, as my laughter died down to soft chuckles.

  “I love you.”

  “Love you, too,” I replied as I released her. “It looks like things are finishing up. We should go back in.”

  She agreed. We walked inside hand in hand, stopping to say goodbye to the mourners who had begun to filter out of the viewing room.

  After what felt like hours later, Lily and I finally made it back home. She had only gone back to her apartment once since the Ben confrontation. We hadn’t talked about it but I knew she had nightmares several times a night, jolting awake every couple of hours. I’d really been failing her as a partner, putting her on the back burner the past few days. I promised myself I’d work on that as we entered our home and collapsed on the couch.

  “I’m exhausted,” she said before a giant yawn split her face. “Your baby is sucking the energy out of me.”

  “Pretty sure he’s your baby, too,” I retorted as I laid down on the couch and pulled her down to spoon.

  “He? No way. We’re definitely having a girl.”

  “No way. He’s a boy. I can feel it.”

  Her smirk was audible as she replied. “You can’t feel shit. She’s in my body and I say she’s a girl.”

  “Nope. Boy. How much do you wanna’ bet?” I asked.

  “Winner gets to name the baby,” she suggested, clearly confident.

  “Fine but the loser gets to veto one name… just in case.”

  “Not so sure she’s a boy now, are you?”

  I snorted as I snuggled into her. “That was for your benefit. I know he’s a boy.”

  She laughed as she turned to face me, sliding one of her legs in between mine as she plastered her cheek against my chest.

  “We’ll see. Liliana Junior has a nice ring to it,” she said, her voice husky with sleep.

  I planted a kiss on the top of her head before letting my eyes drift shut. Life was rocky. My dad was gone and we had a lot of shit to figure out but in that moment? With Lily in my arms? I felt at peace.

  5

  Liliana

  My stomach woke me from a deep sleep. Normally, I’d find waking up hungry to be annoying but honestly? I would take anything over being woken up by the nightmares of Ben tearing into my flesh that had been plaguing me the past few nights.

  I tried to wiggle out of Sam’s embrace without waking him. The feat was nearly accomplished until I met a sudden downfall--literally. My sleep addled mind had severely overestimated the width of the couch and I sent myself sprawling to the ground.

  I landed with a thump on my ass as Sam shot up. His eyes were bugged out as he looked around the room in an attempt to catalogue the threat that had woken him. It took him all of three seconds to realize the noise had been me.

  He reached down and lifted me up as if I weighed nothing more than a small child. Once he set me on the couch beside him, he rubbed his eyes clear of the remnants of sleep.

  “Sorry, babe. Did I push you off the couch? I must have thought we were in bed,” he yawned.

  “Nah, you didn’t. I did it to myself. I was hungry but I didn’t want to wake you. My attempt at stealth obviously backfired.”

  “My mate… the world’s only clumsy wolf.”

  I flipped him off and stood, stretching. He pulled me back down onto the couch before standing himself.

  “I’ll cook. You rest. What do you have a taste for?” he asked.

  “How dedicated are you to appeasing my cravings?” I retorted.

  “Pretty dedicated. What do you want me to make?”

  “Chilaquiles please… with the green salsa?” my words were more of a question than a statement. The Mexican breakfast dish had always been a favorite of mine but the desire I had to eat them was next level. The very idea of them made me salivate. I wanted them so badly I could almost taste them. Pregnancy cravings were no fucking joke.

  He laughed at my request. “You got it. Might take a little bit. Want a snack first?”

  I shook my head. “No. I just really want chilaquiles. You’re the best.”

  “Yeah, I know,” he responded as he headed for the kitchen.

  “And humble,” I shouted at his back as I stood.

  I followed him to the kitchen, disregarding his order to rest. The idea of food excited me too much to relax. Sitting down at the round kitchen table made to seat four, I looked at the clock on the microwave and gasped.

  “It’s three o’clock in the morning!” I exclaimed. “I can just eat something else. I didn’t realize what time it was.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Chilaquiles sound good right now. Besides… what baby mama wants, baby mama gets,” Sam said with a grin.

  I scoffed in mock offense. “Baby mama? Seriously? Not my beautiful mate? The stunning mother of my child? Enchanting goddess? The most enticing creature to ever walk the earth?”

  He laughed. “Nope. I like baby mama.”

  I snorted as I watched him rifle through the fridge. He pulled out tomatillos and jalapenos which caused my stomach to unleash a mighty growl.

  “I knew you needed a snack. Catch,” he said as he threw a banana at me.

  I caught it with surprising ease considering I had no hand-eye coordination typically. I thanked him and munched on it happily before getting up to toss the peel away. “Want some help?”

  “From you? No offense, babe, but you’re a nightmare in the kitchen. I got this.”

  “I’m not that bad of a cook!”

  His ringing laughter put an emphasis on how full of it I was. I was pretty terrible in the kitchen but I crossed my arms in faux anger anyway.

  “Fine. Come here. You can start the tortilla chips while I make the salsa.”

  I followed his instructions. I cut the corn tortillas into triangles as directed but balked as he told me the next step. “You want me... me… to fry these? With oil… hot oil that can burn our house down?”

  Sam stopped stirring the fixings for the salsa and turned to me, pulling me in for a kiss that was entirely too hot to handle. When he pulled away, I was breathless and thoroughly distracted. Food wasn’t that important, right? It wasn’t like I was going to starve to death. We could totally go upstairs and-.

  “Our house. I like the sound of that,” he said as he leaned down to press his forehead to mine with a smile. His words were like a cold bucket of ice being dumped over my head. My lust was officially dampened.

  I gave an awkward smile and pulled away. “Okay. How do I fry these bad boys?”

  He frowned but let it go as he turned back to the stove and began to instruct me.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t want our kid to grow up with us living under one roof--I did--but I also didn’t like the idea of living on his packlands permanently. I was an alpha now. I co
uldn’t just live away from my wolves. The past few days were one thing. Sam needed me and Ryan, my beta, was handling our pack without me just fine. But long term? I couldn’t abandon them.

  We finished making our late-night snack and sat down to eat in silence. I knew my reaction had bothered him, but since he didn’t bring it up... neither did I.

  I took the first bite and a moan of pleasure fell from my lips. “So good.”

  Sam gave me a sad smile as he began to eat. I felt like my heart was in my throat but I remained silent. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, especially not when he was so emotionally overwhelmed. I felt like a giant asshole but I also had responsibilities.

  I put the leftovers away while he washed the dishes. The silence seemed palpable.

  “Sam, I-”

  “Not tonight, Lily,” he interrupted. “I can’t do this tonight. Let’s just finish up and go to bed. We can talk tomorrow.”

  I bit my lip to hold the tears at bay. His dejected tone pulled at my heartstrings but I did as he asked and dropped it.

  Once the kitchen was clean, we made our way up to the bedroom. I changed out of the flowing black dress I’d worn to the funeral and into one of Sam’s t-shirts while he showered. My hands paused on my stomach. It was crazy to think that I was pregnant, only one month by Ember’s calculations, and already my stomach had begun to harden and round out. I didn’t look like I was with child. I just looked bloated but knowing I had a baby in there? It was… weird. So much had changed in our lives recently but now that the shock had worn off? Well, I was kind of excited to be a mom. Still fucking terrified… but excited nonetheless.

  6

  Sam

  After a long shower, I walked into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around my waist. I’d been in such a rush to get away from Lily that I’d forgotten pajamas.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be around my mate but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t frustrated by her unwillingness to move in with me. Even before we found out about the baby, I wanted her to live with me but now that we were going to have a child? I didn’t want either of them anywhere other than under my roof.

  I raked my fingers through my damp hair as I looked down at my sleeping mate. She was lying in my bed, wearing my clothes, but all I could think about was the fact that she was putting other wolves before our family… before me.

  It was unfair of me to be upset with her but I couldn’t help it. It was better to let it go and discuss it in the morning than to broach the topic when I was as upset as I was. My emotions were already running on high since the funeral and I felt like I was at the end of a very thin rope. The last thing I wanted to do was take it out on my pregnant mate.

  Lily rolled over and met my gaze as I started down at her. “Are you going to come to bed or just keep watching me?”

  I smiled softly and dropped my towel before crawling into bed beside her. Immediately she rolled over to lay on my chest.

  “I love you,” I whispered after staring out into the dark in silence for an indiscernible amount of time.

  The only answer I received was her quiet snores.

  We woke several hours later and began to get ready for the day. My mood hadn’t improved at all. I’d hardly slept and found myself even more agitated than I had been when Lily changed the subject about moving in. That agitation escalated to anger when she began to speak to me as she ate a bagel for breakfast. She looked across the kitchen table to where I sat and met my gaze.

  “I’m going to head back to the packlands today. Tess is going to meet me. We need to transform the fortress Ben created into something livable for my wolves. I’m… going to be staying there while I try to get things settled.”

  “What do you mean staying there?” I asked, my tone deceptively even.

  “Sam… they’re my pack. They need me there.”

  “I’m your mate. I need you here,” I said, my words coming out sharper than I intended.

  “I can’t just abandon them. They have no real leadership, no source of food or income. Most of them can’t even return to their human lives because of what Ben did to them. The things Ryan has told me over the last few days… I need to go. You’re an alpha. You should understand,” her voice was soft and full of sadness.

  “I don’t understand, Lily. I don’t fucking understand. I don’t get why you are so keen on being their alpha. Leave the pack to Ryan. He’s strong enough. You should be one of my wolves,” I snapped.

  Her spine straightened as she stood and looked down at me. “My wolf is an alpha, Sam. I’m not going to bow to you. I can’t be one of your wolves.”

  “You’re keeping our family apart. What are you going to tell our kid? Mommy and Daddy love each other very much but we live separately because Mommy has too much pride?” I mocked.

  “You’re being an asshole. I’d rather our child see that I was strong and handled my responsibilities. I am definitely not going to teach my daughter to bow to a man… mate or not. I’m not joining your pack. When you want to converse like a decent person and try to figure out our situation… give me a call. Until then? Fuck off!” she snapped as she headed for the front door.

  I didn’t make a move to follow her as I heard the front door slam behind her.

  “Damn it!” I shouted as I stood up, kicking my chair backwards. It smashed against the wall, a leg breaking off as I cursed again. That wasn’t how I wanted that conversation to go. I did want her to leave that fucking pack and I definitely wanted her in mine. I wanted her in my pack, my home, and my bed every day… but I’d taken it too far. My shitty attempt at keeping us together only managed to drive her further away.

  I stomped my way upstairs and got ready for work. Ember had written Lily a doctor’s note excusing her from work for a couple weeks under the guise of an undisclosed illness so at least I wouldn’t have to see her until we both had time to cool off. I was an ass, for sure, but I wasn’t wrong either. Her desire to be alpha was going to keep our family apart.

  7

  Liliana

  I slammed my car door shut as hard as I had shut the door to Sam’s house. I was pissed. It wasn’t that I couldn’t understand where he was coming from because I did. It just wasn’t enough for me to give into his wants. I couldn’t explain why I was so attached to my pack. I hardly knew any of the wolves by name and yet I had an intense need to protect and guide them. It wasn’t just me either. I could feel my wolf’s need to care for them. We were there alpha and it was as simple as that.

  I wanted to find a solution that would keep Sam and I together without hurting either pack. Not only was I not willing to give up my wolves, but I also wasn’t willing to give up a part of myself. I had done that before. I’d given in to Sam’s wants and needs. Hell even after I’d left him and then come home, I’d given into him. He’d asked for time to explain his secret to me and I’d given it to him even though I had zero reason to trust him. I refused to do that anymore. We could compromise, find a solution, but I wasn’t going to give in.

  I started my car and pulled out of his driveway after putting on heavy metal music that matched my mood. The drive to the clearing nearest my packlands felt too short and did nothing to calm the anger and hurt I felt. After I turned the vehicle off and locked it behind me, I made my way into the dense forest. I climbed over fallen logs and large boulders as I traversed deeper into the brush. I may have felt a strange kindredship with my wolf but I was not okay with being spotted naked the way other shifters were.

  Once I reached a few hundred yards into the woods, I stripped and shoved my clothes into the satchel I’d begun to carry with me since my transformation. Calling my wolf to the surface got easier each time I did it but it still hurt like hell. Sam and A.K. had both assured me that the pain of the shift would start to feel pleasant eventually, almost like getting a tattoo, but I sincerely doubted that. I could feel each bone in my body break and reform as I shifted. My flesh ripped open as my fur began to grow to replace it. There was no way I beli
eved that the shift would ever be even moderately enjoyable. My shifts were becoming faster though.

  I fell to the floor on four paws and scooped the satchel up in my mouth before I began making my way to my pack’s current home. I liked the idea that the lands couldn’t be found by humans or wolves outside of my own--unless they happened to have strong witches with them of course. The building, on the other hand, was a sterile fortress with no natural light. It was, for all intents and purposes, a prison. I didn’t want that for my people. I wanted them to feel at home, to feel like a family.

  A familiar scent assaulted my nose. Eucalyptus and Lemongrass. Tessa. I stopped running as I neared the archway that led to my new home and waited for my bestie to show herself. A few minutes later, she walked into the clearing.

  “Hey girl. Sorry I’m late. I had to sit in at the witches’ council. Sam sent Nate to begin treaty discussions,” she said when she saw me.

  “It’s fine. I just got here. I had a rough morning with Sam,” I projected into her mind.

  She visibly winced before she replied. “Can you shift back? When you talk into my head like that it sounds like you’re screaming.”

  I nodded before imagining my lupine form giving way to my human one. I stood as soon as my transition was complete and began tugging on my clothes. I kept it simple today--bra, panties, yoga pants, and a t-shirt. I even wore flip-flops instead of real shoes. I was too uncomfortable being naked to wear anything that would take time to pull on. I didn’t really give a shit if Tess saw me naked. We’d changed in front of each other a million times. I just didn’t want one of my pack members to come out and see me in all my glory.

  “Sorry,” I said as I finished dressing.

  “I can’t believe it,” she said, shock evident in her voice. “You’re already starting to show.”

  “Yeah,” I replied. “Ember said I’m at the end of the first trimester. Apparently, wolf pregnancies are more accelerated than human ones. She said it should slow down soon and then I’ll progress the same as a human pregnancy.”